Every Sunday morning I like to write about 3 random things that are on my mind.
Sometimes these things are about business…
Sometimes they’re about life…
And other times they’re just completely random.
However today I’m gonna do something different.
Why?
Because it’s Father’s Day…
So I’m going to do a special Father’s Day edition of my 3 Sunday Morning thoughts…
Let’s dig in…
1. One of my biggest realizations about my relationship with my dad has been being more realistic about what he can give me and what he can’t give to me
My dad and I have always had a surface-level relationship.
We don’t don’t talk about our feelings…
Or things we’re struggling with.
It’s mostly just talking about sports…
Or what we’re doing that week.
For a long time, I really struggled with this.
I wanted more.
I wanted a deeper connection with my dad.
So I tried to get him to open up…
And to share more with me.
It never happened.
And that caused me a lot of pain and frustration on my end.
However, over the last few years I’ve come to the realization that this is really all he’s capable of.
His inability to express himself and connect with me on a deeper level really doesn’t have anything to do with me.
He just can’t do it.
I love my dad to death, but we’re never going to have a touchy-feely conversation about how much I care about him.
It’s just not in the cards.
And I’m becoming more OK with that.
It’s been a big weight off my shoulders to stop chasing after that…
And to be more realistic about what he’s capable of sharing with me.
Alright let’s hop to the 2nd thought on my mind this morning…
2. My dad and I are very similar in a lot of ways, but very different in many ways as well
When it comes to things like money and success my dad and I couldn’t be more different.
He worked in a factory for 40+ years…
Standing there in 100 degree heat everyday doing a pretty boring, monotonous job.
He never had dreams of starting a business…
Or of doing something he was passionate about.
He was content to put his 40 years in, work his ass off and retire (which he did this week).
This could not be further from how I think.
I probably wouldn’t last a day at his job.
I’d be miserable
But he did it for 40 years.
Which I’m grateful for.
He sacrificed a lot to give me a good life.
However we’ve never really been able to connect on things about business or money (two things that are a big part of my life).
He doesn’t really get what I do…
Mostly because it’s so far out of his world-view that I’m not sure he even can comprehend it.
He hardly uses a computer.
He doesn’t order stuff online.
So me trying to explain what I do to him is like speaking another language.
But I know he’s proud of me.
He tells me often.
And that means a lot to me.
We’ve always been similar in a lot of ways, but we’re also completely different people in other ways.
Alright let’s do one more of these…
3. I learned some really bad habits from my dad when it comes to relationships
Most of my relationship with my dad is good (unlike my relationship with my mom).
He’s always been supportive.
And we genuinely enjoy spending time with each other.
However, one area that I struggled with because of him was with romantic relationships.
Why?
Well my dad is your typical nice guy, people pleaser.
Basically he follows my mom around like a little puppy dog and does whatever she says.
His role in the relationship is simply trying to make her happy.
So he does whatever she wants.
Which is obviously not healthy.
However when I was younger I didn’t realize this.
I thought this was what a guy was supposed to do.
He was supposed to make the woman happy.
So the first few relationships I was in, I did this and it was an absolute trainwreck.
I was always trying to make my girlfriend happy.
I had no idea how to lead…
I didn’t have my own thoughts and opinions…
Basically, I had no idea how to be a man.
Which lead to a lot of fights…
And a lot of confusion on my end.
I thought if I just did everything my girlfriend wanted, she’d be happy.
Well, it took me a long time to learn, that no woman wants that.
She wants someone who can stand on his own.
Someone who has a backbone.
I had to basically start from the bottom and re-learn everything about being a man.
Like how to lead in a relationship…
And how to value my own opinions…
How to be strong, yet also caring…
It was not an easy process…
However, I’ve made some big strides.
And guess what?
My relationships in the last few years have been a hell of a lot better because of it.
I feel more in control…
And not helpless like I used to.
And the women I’ve dated love the “new” me.
So I’m glad I decided to work on that…
And not just keep doing what my dad did.
He did a LOT of good for me.
But like any human, he passed on some bad habits as well.
Anyways…
That’s a few things about my dad.
I actually need to give him a call right now…
So I’m gonna wrap this up.
Hope you got a nugget or two out of this that connected with you.
Enjoy your Father’s Day…
– Justin
If you want to hear more from Justin, he has a private email list for top marketers, copywriters and business owners. To apply to be on the email list simply click the button below that says “apply now”.
