Yesterday I promised to share some nuggets from my 4-day intensive with my coach, Brent.
Well yesterday was day one of our intensive…
Day one usually doesn’t have a ton of insights, since it’s mostly used to prep everything for the next three days.
However I had one insight I want to share…
And that has to do with using “shields”.
Brent mentioned to me that he noticed I use my work as a “shield” in a lot of my relationships.
I’ve used it with women I’m interested in…
I’ve used it when volunteering…
I’ve used it when meeting new people…
My work is something I “default” to because it’s safe.
For example…
Instead of simply volunteering at a dog shelter and meeting the other volunteers, I’ll offer to help the shelter with their marketing stuff instead.
Why?
Because I feel a lot safer and more experienced doing that.
In that arena, I know what I’m doing.
But if I just walk in like a normal volunteer, and I’m interacting with dogs and doing normal volunteer jobs that’s an arena I’m not familiar with.
I don’t know what I’m doing.
Which is scary.
So I gravitate towards these situations where I can use my business knowledge to “protect” me.
I’ve noticed I’ve done the same thing in the past with women that I’m interested in.
Instead of just getting to know them as a potential partner, I’ll invite them to business dinners…
Or offer to help them with their side-hustle.
Part of this is because I truly love mentoring people and seeing it change their lives…
But another part of it, is me using my business knowledge as a shield against opening up or putting myself out there.
It’s a lot safer.
And the chances of me getting rejected are much lower.
However in relationships (especially romantic ones) it creates a lot of confusion.
Sometimes the woman is into me and has no idea if I’m actually into her.
Or I might be into her, but she thinks it’s just a business relationship.
And this all goes back to me using my work as a shield.
Instead of getting to know someone on a human level, I’ll just shift to business because it’s safe and I feel more comfortable there.
Honestly this was not a huge revelation for me.
It’s something I’ve thought about before.
But having Brent bring it up just confirmed what had already been rolling around in my head.
And I think it’s something worth thinking about for you as well.
Cause we all use shields in one way or another.
Think about in what ways are you using a shield to keep yourself safe?
What are you doing to avoid putting yourself out there?
Or to avoid rejection?
The more you dig into this…
The more you’ll find.
So I think it’s worth exploring.
Alright that’s all I got for ya this morning.
Hope ya got a nugget or two from this.
Be back tomorrow with more…
Enjoy your Friday.
– Justin
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