Yesterday I told you all about the fundraising campaign I put together for a Great Dane rescue that I work with.
I broke down the decisions I made…
And gave you a little look inside my thought process when it comes to marketing…
Today, I wanna show ya the copy I wrote for that letter.
Specifically the heartbreaking emotional story we used to lead the letter off.
This is a staple of fundraising letters in the dog rescue niche.
The best ones all lead with a gut-wrenching story of a dog being abused…
Or abandoned…
Honestly they’re hard to write if you’re a dog lover like I am.
But they work.
Here’s the one we ended up using…
This is a true story of a dog named Brian that the rescue helped to save.
—–
This Great Dane Was Abandoned For 45 Days And Left To Die Of Starvation…And Now He Needs Your Help
Dear Fname,
After nearly a month, Brian had already watched two of the other dogs in his house die of starvation.
His owner had left them all alone to die…
Everyday Brian would look out the window waiting for his family to come back.
But they never did.
Days turned into weeks…
Weeks turned into a month…
Brian knew that he was going to be the next one to die a slow painful death if help didn’t come soon.
But luckily for him, there was a ray of hope. One day he looked up from the floor and saw a man peeking in the window.
The man had a funny hat on. And looked concerned. Brian was elated to see a stranger. So he barked with what little energy he had left.
Turns out the man was a Sheriff’s deputy. And he had gotten a tip that there might be some dogs in this house who needed his help.
Once he got inside, the Sheriff was shocked by what he saw. Brian was emaciated and holding on for dear life.
So the Sheriff quickly loaded Brian into his truck and took him to the vet for life-saving medical treatment.
The vet wasn’t sure he was going to be able to save him…
But despite Brian’s poor health, he miraculously pulled through.
After a few days of getting him some fluids and medication he arrived at Harlequin Haven to a comfy bed and all the food he desired.
And while Brian was still in rough shape (weighing just 74 lbs)…
We spoiled him with all the love and attention he desperately needed.
When I think of Brian’s story to this day, I still get choked up.
You’d think I’d be immune to it after all the horrible stuff I’ve seen rescuing dogs for 28 years.
But I’m not.
—–
So that’s the lead for the fundraising letter.
As you can see it’s a very emotional story.
Which is what you want.
One of the keys to a great sales letter is to push people’s emotional buttons.
You want them to feel sad for Brian…
You want them to feel guilty about not being able to help…
You want them to be angry at Brian’s shitty owner.
This story does all that.
Which is why we picked it.
We combed through close to 100 stories on their website about dogs they’ve rescued and this was the best one in my eyes.
It was the most heart-breaking.
And that’s an important point…
If we had just used a story of a family who turned their Dane into the rescue because they couldn’t afford it anymore, the story wouldn’t work as well.
Why?
Cause that’s a boring story.
There’s no heartbreak in it.
The story has to emotional.
And it has to make you feel for the dog.
And I think we achieved that with Brian’s story.
So there ya go…
A little lesson on how to pick a good story for your copy.
The cool thing is you can apply this lesson to ads, emails, sales pages and more.
It’s universal.
Stories that tug at people’s heart strings always work.
Keep that in mind.
– Justin
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