Yesterday I turned the big 40…
Which inspired me to share some wisdom with you.
I feel like my 30’s were a decade of a huge amount of growth for me as a person.
The guy I was at 30…
And the guy I am now couldn’t be more different.
So I want to share one of the biggest things that changed for me over the last decade…
And that was…
Getting clear on what I want my life to be about.
This was a big change for me.
Why?
Cause when I was a little kid, my entire life was determined by my mom.
She ruled our house like Emperor Putin with an iron fist.
I was never allowed to to have my own thoughts…
I wasn’t allowed to make mistakes…
And I couldn’t do anything that was outside what she wanted for me.
It was her way or the highway…
And anytime I went against her…
She’d get violent.
Which usually meant whipping me with a belt until I was curled up in the fetal position pleading for her to stop.
This was what most of my childhood was like.
I walked around on eggshells…
And because of that…
I learned at a young age that in order for me to survive, I couldn’t upset my mom.
So every day I was just trying to make her happy.
That was all I thought about.
And as I got older…
The “I gotta make mom happy” conditioning that was ingrained into me when I was a kid was still lurking in my mind.
So even though I was 27…
Or 32…
I still unconciously made most of my decisions trying to make my mom happy.
Which was a problem.
For example…
I used to avoid dating certain women that I was really into because I knew my mom wouldn’t like them…
Or I’d try to do certain things in my business (like getting into Forbes) cause I knew it would impress my mom…
Or when I first thought about moving to Austin, I held off for like three years, cause I knew it would upset my mom…
This is how I used to think…
Everything was about pleasing my mom.
So even though I was a grown man…
And even though I was making 6 or 7 figures a year…
All the conditioning my mom drilled into me as a kid was still running my life.
But over the last decade…
This really started to change.
I unraveled a lot of the conditioning that was drilled into me.
And I replaced her programming with what mattered to me.
Which was a massive change.
I feel like in my late 30’s I became my own person for the first time in my life.
And while doing that…
I had to figure out what mattered to ME…
I had to discover what MY values were…
What I enjoyed…
Who I liked to be with…
And what I wanted MY life to be about.
That was all new to me.
But it was a big, big shift in my life.
And as I peeled back more layers…
And learned more about myself…
I realized things like…
– I didn’t want to be working 12 hours a day.
– I realized that while money was important to me (and a big driver for me), impact started to matter more and more as I got older…
– I realized that being a mentor to up-and-coming copywriters and marketers gave me a lot of fulfillment in my life
I also became more aware of my strengths ( thinking deeply, seeing the data, and making strategic decisions)…
And more aware of my weaknesses (being on camera, connecting with people and being creative).
And now that I’m 40…
I feel like I have a much better understanding of who I am…
And what I want…
I’m a very different guy now than I was at 30…
Or even at 35.
So my big lesson over the last decade was simply getting more clear on who I am…
And what I want in life…
You might already have this understanding for yourself…
And if you do, you’re doing things right.
But if you don’t…
I’d highly suggest getting clear on what matters to you.
What do you want your life to be about on a deep level?
Who do you want to spend it with?
These are all things worth thinking about…
So give it some thought…
And enjoy your Saturday…
– Justin
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